Why Is Finding a Rishta So Hard Today? Real Reasons Nobody Talks About

Introduction

India is a land of traditions where marriages are more than two individuals coming together—they're a union of families, cultures, and values. Yet, in 2025, countless young men and women, even in their late 20s or 30s, are still struggling to find the right rishta. It’s not just about finding someone anymore. It’s about crossing the modern-day hurdles no one warned us about. If you're wondering why it's so hard to find a rishta today, this blog dives deep into the lesser-talked-about truths.

Relatives Do This Work in India Mostly

Historically, most marriages in India were arranged with the help of family members and close-knit social circles. Aunts, uncles, family friends, or even neighbours used to act as unofficial matchmakers. According to a report by the India Human Development Survey, nearly 74% of Indian marriages were arranged by families or relatives without the need for any professional marriage bureau. These informal networks thrived on trust, social reputation, and a shared community sense. Back then, a casual conversation at a wedding or family function could quickly turn into a promising rishta lead.

Why Are Relatives Not Helping Today?

Busy Lifestyles & Nuclear Families

As families become more nuclear and career-driven, the time and energy required for matchmaking are dwindling. People are scattered across cities and countries, and family interactions are limited to festivals or urgent needs. The warmth of joint family culture has given way to individual priorities, leaving matchmaking efforts largely unattended.

Jealousy, Insecurity & Silent Competition

It’s an uncomfortable truth, but envy within extended families often halts rishta efforts. Relatives may feel hesitant to suggest a great match, fearing it might outshine their own children's prospects. Insecurity, subtle judgment, and a fear of blame if the marriage fails add to this reluctance.

Community Bonding Is Fading

Earlier, people would take pride in helping others settle. Today, privacy, personal boundaries, and "not my job" attitudes are replacing that community-driven mentality. Many families don’t want to be held responsible for something as sensitive as a marriage not working out.

Lack of Income – The 'Well-Settled' Barrier

In today's rishta ecosystem, being emotionally available or having good values isn't enough. You're expected to be financially well-settled.

Families reject boys due to a lack of government jobs, houses, or high salaries. Girls from humble financial backgrounds often get overlooked in favour of those with better dowries, even in subtle, indirect ways.

Economic insecurity has become a deal-breaker. Many working-class youth face silent rejection because their lifestyle doesn't match Instagram-worthy standards.

Reputation Matters More Than Reality

We now live in a culture where social reputation is valued over personal truth. Families reject prospective matches based on family rumours, job titles, past relationships, and even divorce in extended families. People would rather delay marriage than be linked to a family with “questions around their name.”

This obsession with maintaining a picture-perfect image can stop even the most genuine connections from progressing.

Education – A Blessing or a Block?

Education is now both a filter and a wall. Men look for "qualified but not too ambitious" women. Women seek educated men with equal or higher degrees. A PhD woman might get rejected for being "too career-focused". A less-educated man, despite good values, may be seen as "not enough."

This education gap creates a silent tension. Everyone wants "someone good" – but the definition keeps shifting higher with every generation.

Interest & Compatibility Are Now Essential

Earlier, families prioritised caste, horoscope, and social standing. Today’s youth want more:

• Shared hobbies
• Mutual respect
• Understanding each other’s goals
• Common worldviews

While this shift is positive, it makes the rishta process more layered. You’re not just looking for a match on paper but a real connection, which takes time, effort, and patience.

Why Is Finding a Rishta So Hard Today in India for a Boy?

Financial Expectations

Men are expected to earn a high income, own a house, and support a wife financially from day one. Many face pressure to prove their stability before even being considered. If you don’t tick every box—good salary, job security, good looks, and no past baggage—your chances drop.

Emotional Burden

While men are told to be providers, very little emotional space is given to them. If a boy expresses vulnerability or career confusion, he's seen as "not ready" for marriage.

Why Is Finding a Rishta So Hard Today in India for a Girl?

The "Perfect Balance" Trap

Women are expected to balance beauty, brains, family values, and career ambitions. They must be smart but not overpowering. Independent but not "too modern".

Girls who are too confident or speak their minds often face backlash. Working girls, especially in metros, still struggle with being accepted by traditional-minded families.

Safety and Control Concerns

Many families fear letting their daughters marry into lesser-known or distant families. The fear of safety, emotional abuse, or cultural mismatch makes them extra cautious, leading to delays or missed opportunities.

Social Media Is Making It Worse

Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn have become silent matchmaking filters. Families and individuals stalk profiles and judge people based on:

• Followers
• Fashion sense
• Travel lifestyle
• Public behavior

This online resume culture removes the human touch. Someone might be a great life partner, but a lack of social media polish can still get them rejected.

Too Many Choices = Too Much Confusion

With endless rishta apps and matrimonial sites, there’s an illusion of infinite options. People keep scrolling, believing something better might be just one profile away. This leads to commitment anxiety, decision fatigue, and unnecessary comparisons.

Paradoxically, the more choices we have, the harder it is to choose.

Fear of Commitment and Rejection

Many youth have grown up watching broken marriages, toxic relationships, or overly controlling parenting. As a result, they’re scared of commitment, fearing divorce, mismatch, or being trapped.

Others fear rejection so deeply that they avoid proposing or accepting proposals altogether. They’d rather delay than face heartbreak.

VivahRishta – A Smarter Way to Find Your Match

VivahRishta understands today’s rishta problems and offers a solution that respects both tradition and modern needs.

What Makes It Different?

• Verified Profiles: No more guessing. Real people with real intent.
• Smart Matchmaking: Based on values, lifestyle, education, and compatibility.
• Privacy Protected: No random swipes. Your data stays confidential.
• Support for Families: Whether you're a parent or the rishta seeker, VivahRishta helps both generations navigate the process smoothly.

Ready to find your match without the drama? Try VivahRishta today and experience real, respectful matchmaking.

Conclusion

Finding a rishta in India today isn't hard because people aren’t ready. It's hard because the system, expectations, and lifestyle have changed. We need to stop chasing perfection and start looking for real connection.

Whether you’re a boy, a girl, or a concerned parent, remember: the right match exists. But it might need a fresh, modern approach to discover it.

Marriage isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about finding someone who respects you, understands you, and grows with you. And that’s still possible—if you know where to look.

FAQs

Q1. Can I find a rishta online without involving my parents?

Yes. VivahRishta lets you explore verified matches confidentially and involve your family when you feel ready.

Q2. Why do most rishta proposals get rejected today?

Unrealistic expectations, financial demands, and emotional immaturity are common reasons.

Q3. Are rishta apps actually safe?

Choose apps like VivahRishta that verify profiles and protect user privacy.

Q4. Is a marriage bureau better than online rishta apps?

A hybrid model like VivahRishta works best—you get expert guidance with digital access.

Q5. How long does it take to find a good rishta these days?

Anywhere from 3 months to a year, depending on flexibility and platform choice.

Explore VivahRishta – Where Tradition Meets Tech in Your Search for Real Love.